I don’t have a lot to post about today, other then that I’m starting to get a better idea of how I will improve myself, and in turn, improve my blog.
I’m a little anxious because I know I can get a little too grandiose with my project ideas. I set myself up for a lot of work that I’m not ready to handle yet. This time I think I found something to bite onto, at least that’s what I’m telling myself.
I would like to dedicate real hours into learning how to become a better writer, somebody worth reading. It’s one of very few things I seem to have at least some innate talent for, as in it’s something I don’t completely suck at. As a bonus I actually enjoy myself when I sit down to write. It’s actually kind of cool to see where my writing is clunky, and to think about how I can make it flow more smoothly.
I think I will be more likely to stick with this, as long as I can keep my self-esteem in check. In the past I’ve written blog posts and given up after 2-3, and this was because I was so insecure about what I was writing about. I’m coming from a vulnerable position, sharing things with people I’ve never met. It can make me feel funny to share things on a visceral level, I would almost go so far to say that it makes me feel dirty. I’m not even sure if this is true, but I feel that most men don’t share their feelings or open up about what’s really going on in their minds. Maybe this has changed a little as we head into 2016, but that feeling doesn’t go away.
I’ve just sort of been coming to terms with myself and who I am over the past months. I’m learning to accept that I have a sensitive side, and even to see that there’s nothing wrong with that. I’m not there all the way but I’m moving in that direction.
The reason I think I’m more likely to stick to this then my other endeavors is the actual passion I feel for it right now. I feel alive when I write. Usually when I’m trying to come up with ways to improve my life, it always comes down to “How does that convert into dollars?” I’ve yet to find something else that I really feel like doing because of the means, not the end. (Hey I just edited out a boring line because of a tip I read earlier today, fun stuff!)
Weightlifting is always on and off, because I really want the results but I don’t have a lot of interest in the work. Not that I don’t like it, just that doing a workout doesn’t do anything for me in the moment.
With writing, I actually enjoy the process. It’s interesting and a little fun to play around with words and see what fits and what doesn’t. I also have my blog as my own platform, and I can do whatever I want with it.
I have to remember that I have depression, and that there will be days when nothing happens. Probably lots of those days. I’ll do my best to remember that I can still always try again.
Here are some of the ideas floating in my head right now:
-Read lots of books!
-Write something everyday
-Find some resources for book recommendations
-Learn how to use proper grammar and sentence structure
-Do writing prompts on reddit
I was going to just keep going with this list until I stopped and thought that’s probably enough for now. Just writing everyday will be a challenge. I’m excited to have found something I actually feel a little passionate about. So far I’ve been coming up with nothing, and as a result doing nothing. At least I’m doing something now, even if it turns out to be pointless I can say I enjoyed the journey.
Okay maybe one more to that list: Learn how to end blog posts!