Alone

I am greedy for attention

My past, full of rejection, has spoiled me

I sway to the patterns of others so that they may stop by

And visit me for a time

I tempt my creativity, coax it into inglorious words

So that I may draw those to me who would put me on a pedestal

My loneliness knows no bounds

And I find myself plotting and planning with an evil grin

Coming up with nefarious schemes to capture them in my net

It is my own neediness that pushes those I respect away from me

And I am left alone to my own devices, a ticking clockwork of depression

Where are those who would teach me the ways of healthy relationships?

They see me as wrecked, a soul not worth saving

So I build my own boat and sail on the ocean of vague experiences

Which teach me the lessons I never learned while I was growing into a man

And though I have spite for my devastation and pain

I also feel pride for finding the inner workings of my fellow man

Through many mistakes and heartbreaks

It is not a kind world on those who are gentle

But those who have courage will prevail through the suffering

There was a time where I grew angry and sheltered myself

Now again I wear my heart on my sleeve

Yet it is with maturity that I protect it from the bashing of ridicule

And though my heart will be stomped from time to time

I can form it back into it’s original shape like fine clay

Because I was born with kindness in my soul

And I shall die while comforting those who would miss me

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