I am Thankful

The memories drift

I am nearly brought to tears

How can I express the love I have for yesterday

The word nostalgia does not seem to fit

It is more

There is no word for the bike ride on the pier whose name I can’t remember

No way to describe cleaning the living room with my mother while she sang

And walking to school with my friend while the sun was shining on us

I am thankful that the timeline is coming back to me

For awhile I was lost in purgatory

I had forgotten my roots

Each day those memories grow further away

I still chase them with lust

I want to live my life over

What a tragedy that I cannot do so

So I sit here listening to old music to bring me back

There was so much to complain about it seemed

But I must admit I had a good life when I was young

I am thankful for having a father

Not everyone is so lucky as me

I do not mean to boast, only to express my gratitude

Others did not have the life that I did

I feel sorrow for the struggles others have faced

And sometimes wonder if my recent downfall was punishment

For not appreciating the life that I had

Of course there were things that were hard to deal with

But nothing I could not overcome

Nothing compared to the suffering of the illness that overtook my life

A darkness that lasted for years and still lingers some nights

I am still afraid of how much more the world can throw at me

Will I still be able to give it my all?

Only with courage can I look fear in the eyes

And push on through the challenges that I now face

Life is full of lessons to be learned

And it is not healthy to become greedy

So I will take advantage of my strengths

If only to make things right with those who have less

And not lay waste to what has been offered to me

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