Six Pack

Touching the sickle tonight

I hope I do not bleed too deep

Forgive me for being weak

I guess I’m not done falling down

 

I have not tasted honey in months

It is soothing and robust

If only I were stronger

I would not be in this position

 

Watching the fizzle on the bottle

Reminds me of older days

When I did not have a handle on it

I will not continue this for months

 

I know in moderation I am safe

But it does not take the sting away

From knowing that I am not done healing

Soberly, and without numbing myself

 

The pain is greater tonight then I expected

I was not prepared for this jostling of heart

Maybe next time I will remind myself first

That it does not fix a single thing

 

But for now I will enjoy myself

Taking gentle sips with a smile

It’s only for tonight I tell myself

Can I keep that promise true?

 

I think that I can

I only touch the brew once in a blue moon

And I am avoiding the harsh spirits

The ones that bring anxiety

 

Forgiving myself will be hard tomorrow

But I have not bought enough for a headache

Only my pride will hurt come morning

When I have to check off day one

 

To those who partake on weekends

This may seem like blown proportions

But I take it very seriously

That I bought a six pack tonight

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