Depression

Empty

It’s not dark

It’s not suffocating

It’s not like anything

There’s even laughter

Sometimes I sing and dance

I’m just simply not there

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Stronger than life

Welts are growing on my chin

Scabs are glazing under the muscle

Deep impacts from the knife

Scar tissue

When it all breaks

I lean on my mistakes

Cause I can come alive

Love will break the chains

I’m invincible

My legs are throbbing

From the battle

Swords are heavy

So I use my fists instead

Bashing life’s head in

Feels more satisfying anyways

I have a few words to share

With the demons that haunt me:

Kiss my ass

Survival

The war ripped my head off

Splayed my arms wide and tied them off

So there wouldn’t be much fighting

But I still grit my teeth and spit

A whole lot of things can kill me

But this isn’t it, this isn’t it

I survive on a fierce breathing

Far from success, farther from death

Life is pumping iron and shadow boxing

But my chest is big and heaving

I stand face to face with gods

Asking for the hammer and the fist

They offered the belt but I say fuck it

Give me the hammer and the fist

Because fuck them

Bitter Coffee

Write another sticky note and slap it on the fridge

A promise to myself for a better life

But life has promised me something else

A hard line to follow, a shattered functionality

 

The shit got broken a few years ago

Rewired for a new reality that I never expected

Now my walking is full of fear

Highs up high, lows down low

 

The crazy thing is

If I had to do it all over

I don’t think I would change anything

Because I’ve been shaped by all of this

 

I’m strong in my vulnerability

There’s beauty in seeing the thresholds

My taste for life is enticing

And bitter coffee can be enjoyed some days