Love doesn’t die

I couldn’t write a beautiful last word

A poem for those that I love

If I tried

The verse would do no justice

To the experience of life and all that it is

How can love be portrayed with pretty letters

What unworthy things words are

To human emotion

Only if you read between the lines

Could you find the spirit that lies within me

And your memories, sweet memories

Are what would serve

As my voice and expression of heart

You know that I believe in love and kindness

The beating in my chest is deep for you

And though I am fractured

My soul is what you recognize behind

The changes I’ve gone through in my mind

Be happy, have joy and peace in life

Take care of each other

And know that if you pray

I will always be there listening to you

I will see all of you again

–Note– This isn’t a suicide note or anything. I’m just having a lot of delusions about dying in my sleep tonight after pushing myself too hard over the past couple days. I know that I will probably see tomorrow, but the irrational part of me says I need to leave a message for my loved ones in case I don’t wake up.

Presence

If dancers were wild could we capture their soul

Tie ropes ’round ankles and put them on display

Would they still have the heart to move like the wind

Or would they simply lose spirit and fade away

Could we steal a kiss from two lovers at night

And store it in a bottle made of sapphire and gold

Would it still hold the passion of the lovers embrace

Or would it crumble and die when we took off the lid

Human expression is not something to handle

To fondle and ravage like a toy or a doll

We are what we are and that’s what makes us unique

So be present when love comes knocking on your door

Bad night

God be with me and stay with me

Keep me company through this trial

The evildoer threatens me

Even enticing me with poetic words

He is so close that he nearly invades my prayer

Keep my words simple and true

Let me talk to you with my heart

And only through your own love

Give my words power

I have not spoken out loud to you

In a very long time

But tonight I am so afraid

That I called upon you with my mouth

Keep me safe and sane

Oh God I am so afraid

Be with me

Please forgive me

I have brought evil on myself

And allowed it to enter my home

My breathing is shallow

And my chest hurts

My head is thumping

And my limbs are weak

Oh Lord stay with me

Please do not leave my side

Use your power to protect me

Listen to my prayer

I never left completely

Oh god why I am so afraid

To tap into the breathing of my lungs

And see that they are not functional

 

When I shy from you

I do not understand it

Why can’t I pray?

 

Where does my heart go

What has blackened my vision

So that all I sense is fear

 

Lord although I need you

Still I am anxious

To be free in my expression

 

Release me from this cell

Comfort my aches

So that I may be whole

Say Love

The things I cannot mold with my hands

Cause a sorrow of heart and of mind

If only, if only, if only…

Is all that drags on in my head

And so we carry on through pain

In worry for your mother

Stuck in the cold grip of fear

Our heads spinning from lack of control

Though your emotions are well hidden

Still I sense the corners of your hurting

Suffocation, drowning

Strapped in, with no power to move

So much anger at how unfair this is

So afraid of what it all means

How are the memories so far off now

Why can’t we live the way we did before

I wish I had answers to give you

I wish, I wish, I wish…

But here we are staring

At the hard face of life

Who’s stern indifference tears at our chest

And eats our passion to live

This is not where we give in

Nor do we turn away

My words will not change time

They are only the expression of my heart

And perhaps they will have an emptiness

That does not satisfy your need for more

So let me hold you instead

And don’t let go until you are ready

Pray First

Say Love, Say Love, Say Love

Velvet

Slick legs make my heart pump blood

Until I’m throbbing

Craving your velvet

The shape of you on my tongue

Mesmerized by your lust

Your body heated and magnetized

Drawing lines from your nipples to your core

Until your sex is pulsing, greedy

Pulling me in

So that I may ravage your wetness

And thrash with you for hours

Time is an illusion

On nights when we sweat and scream

Feeble Fantasies

coat-1245857_1280

You’ll see me in another life

A crown rested over my brow

Drawing a crowd of followers

With no struggle to satisfy

 

Tell me anything

Your truth, your curse

I will dilute your afflictions

Let me be the solvent to hardship

 

Give me water and I say to you

Blood red wine will spill from my veins

Plead me for your days bread

And I will surely give you sustenance

 

I ride a red chariot whose speed

Is known throughout my kingdom

Whose rumbling stride

Brings thunder into your heart

 

Electricity uttered from my fingertips

Lights the skies in white lightning

Truly not even the sun is as bright

As the power that I unleash

 

They know that I am a good King

Whose love they may cherish

A man who breathes life into blackened lungs

And stomps on the heels of the wicked

 

In this life you will see a fractured soul

Whose feeble fantasies abound

A man who holds himself as best he can

And trudges through mud for a single silver coin

 

But this broken mortal has gifts to offer

A gentle array of words to soothe

Canvas that cultivates capture of spirit

And an open heart extended through open arms