Month: November 2018

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Be reasonable

How many more thoughts do I have to trash

Before I’m impressed enough to hold on to them

I’ll admit I’m pretty afraid

That the things inside aren’t precious enough to mean anything

I really miss when I was more attached

Nothing means anything but everything matters

If there’s even an answer out there I don’t know that it would help

Maybe it would solve all of my problems

But maybe it would just make me more aware of the flaws

I am grateful for many things

I feel guilty when I complain

In the end it leads to frustration

Because others starving doesn’t make my depression feel any better

I want, or maybe I need, to express myself

But I am so afraid to do that

I especially don’t want to be hated

But I guess in the end somebody always hates you

A lesson could be taken from our shallow pop stars

To ignore the hate and just be yourself

If only I could do that

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Action!

ACT I

 

If I have to live with myself for one more disgusting moment

I think I’ll end up puking

Because I’m not perfect

And if I’m not perfect I’m no good for anything

 

ACT II

 

Every word reaches for something but in the end they fuck it all up

The word “beautiful” isn’t good enough

I like the word “perfect” more than most other words

“Fuck” is probably devine

 

ACT III

 

So I made something

And I think it’s mine mostly

I guess I don’t know whether to give it all away or not

Because I could ruin what little faith I have in myself

 

Epilogue

 

I hated the chaff and so it was cut off and burnt

I hated the fruit but I was hungry

And so I ate

Now I am only hungry again